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colors chased awayinvaded by darknesstemporary blindnessbefore shades of greystillness all aroundscreams of silencelost innocencememories still not foundswimming in my bedpraying to drownlose the crownbe one with the deada flicker of lightflooded by colorsfighting the shuddersa pause for the night
I had this sudden urge today to start painting again. It's been over thirteen years since the last time I touched a brush to a canvas. Been too terrified to start before. I've kept in the store unopened tubes of paint, unused canvases and virgin brushes for the last couple of years in the hope of making peace with this long lost friend. But what the hell do I paint? What is so meaningful that it merits me abandoning my fears?
For certain reasons today, I felt my life disrupted. I felt things were not the way my life should be. I guess perhaps this deviation ignited a chain of emotions which brought the need to paint back into my life. And so...what do I paint?
The first few base colors are down already. Let's see...maybe, just maybe...
He once dreamed a paradise, once thought he knew what heaven meant, a place where two birds flew amidst an ocean of dancing lilies...
...where the colors of the sky never remained the same, a kaleidoscope of rainbows flowing across their path in all directions, where nothing mattered except the wind keeping them afloat. He once dreamed of something everlasting where nothing in reality mattered, where life neither started nor ended, a place where time knew no existence, a never ending journey engulfed in that that familiar gentle touch of rain, cleansing away all history, all pain, all fears, all loneliness, soaring through an endless universe of love. But that paradise faded from him as fast as it came when the other bird fell away. She fell far and fast away from him until soon she could not be seen. She was gone forever.
It was then that he realized that there was always only just one bird that existed at all, only one that flew alone. His dreams, his desires, were but ephemeral wisps of gentle warm air which brought him to new heights, only to then drift away, and without the air beneath his wings, he would fall back to the depths of his loneliness, his fated place in this world to exist as one and only be as one.
The colors faded to gray, and then finally to black. The sounds diminished into emptiness. Darkness within his reality would always prevail.
And he misses her so..
...where the colors of the sky never remained the same, a kaleidoscope of rainbows flowing across their path in all directions, where nothing mattered except the wind keeping them afloat. He once dreamed of something everlasting where nothing in reality mattered, where life neither started nor ended, a place where time knew no existence, a never ending journey engulfed in that that familiar gentle touch of rain, cleansing away all history, all pain, all fears, all loneliness, soaring through an endless universe of love. But that paradise faded from him as fast as it came when the other bird fell away. She fell far and fast away from him until soon she could not be seen. She was gone forever.
It was then that he realized that there was always only just one bird that existed at all, only one that flew alone. His dreams, his desires, were but ephemeral wisps of gentle warm air which brought him to new heights, only to then drift away, and without the air beneath his wings, he would fall back to the depths of his loneliness, his fated place in this world to exist as one and only be as one.
